{Re}convey

I was looking for the right word for something that happened yesterday. I’m still not sure I’ve found it in this one. And, I’m not even sure if it’s an again. It may be a new thing.

Reconvey means to impart or transfer back to a previous position or owner. I suppose that’s what happened last night when Keck said, “But we are successful.” In essence, he conveyed back to a new idea and a new way of thinking that I’ve been rolling around in my brain all day.

I want to be grateful. Yet, I’ve been living my life, and subsequently our life, under the impression that were just about to go under. That we’re barely getting by. That I still have to work really hard to be successful. My thinking is that funds, success, and fulfillment are just out of reach. Scarce.

And then today some one actually utter the words to me, “You’re a victim of your own success.”

When you’re working you really cannot wait a minute and let something soak in to your brain. Recently, another friend of mine said to, “What is success for you?” Basically she said that she said she would know she had “made it” when she could have a maid and get fake nails. What was my equivalent of “a maid and fake nails”?

Whether this was something coming back into place or not, I know it’s made me ask a new kind of what-if question.

What if I’m already successful?

Would answering this question inform my decisions? Will it make me bolder? Will it make me more content?

Saying to myself, I am successful, is a lot life changing. Maybe I’ll be able to check back in the future and say, yeah, I’ve got my maid and fake nails and I am successful and I have been for some time.

I’m not sure I can say that today but maybe that will pop into place again. ❤